Poem 9-21

Me time
Just me and my thoughts today
Ridding myself of anxiousness
Peace be with me

Stillness and calm
An agenda of none
Nestled in the rocks
Unsure of why he's not the one

The cool breeze having its way.
Making me positive for sanity's sake
As I stopped myself from being my same ol me
Fed up with being best friends with happiness's heartache

i decided it was time that i road about town
to discover its soul, clear my mind
to free my heart, and find my home
stopped here to question whether if what Im searching for I would ever find

tormented by loneliness, a want inside of me
for so long Ive been incapable to share
a silence within, too loud
for anyone but me to hear

I met my new friend right then on this Saturday afternoon
he was tough and mysterious
and had deep brown skin
he saw life in my eyes and without touching me was kind
he made me feel beautiful as he manipulated the breeze to play in my hair
his peacefulness flowed through me
his gentleness replaced friends that had left me behind

he listened to my fears
as I sat as his feet
he comforted me with new dreams
as we shared our defeats

I admired how every branch, every being
exploited  his goodness
but his strength and character
was bothered not by their rudeness

not seeking a hello or a goodbye
or a mention of his name
I fell in love with him b/c he promised me he'd be there when I needed him again
Thank you James

Poem 9-17

I needed you to fix me
I needed you to take away the pain
I need you to make me feel safe
I know, I'm insane

I needed you to fight for us
To make me a necessity
A love, a friend I needed you to need me
Wishes fivoriously

All I know is what I know
Its time to learn something new
Its time to become the woman
I know I am

I have been broken, I have been hurt
I am finding my way
Some days I am sad and scared
 And unsure for what to pray

 The idea of an us in ever sense of the word
 My happiness and happily ever after I've ever known
I've sold myself on a brighter days
But it wasn't supposed to be this way

I believe in you even if you cant see what I see
Faith is love
Us come into my life
Be true

7-6 Poem

If we met anywhere on the map
In the midst of the world
We'd find a way, for a moment...entrapped
In love, in laughs, boy and girl

You'd be my Lucky fella on the boardwalk of life's lane
Your Carnation to wear
Nestled near your heart again

Dearest Mandel you made my life poetic
Where bad was good and there is a realism to be great
I who you found inside of me
Fearlessness from depths of intellect and creativity
I am everything you chose to see
A remanence beyond Brazil's beauty
I am woman to your flame
I am inspiration
I am

...you are missed



You and the idea of you
Though distance in time and space
Will never be forgot
Will never be replaced

In love, in laughs
Of mutual heart and mind
We were the rarest of things
2 of a kind

Seconds to minutes, and minutes beyond
So fond a thing is love
Especially when its gone

but without a doubt
words from the lips you kissed
I'd be remiss if I said you weren't missed

~Ocean

08/17/2013

It's a good kind of hurt
Like strength training for the heart
The only way to know is to know
The only way to love is to love

We were a low key love, in my world atleast
Thanks for saving me the shame
Thanks for saving me the pain
I wish I believed you when you told me the truth about dating a guy like you
You told me you were bad, but you made our friendship seem so true
So lets pretend you were a friend and told me to go find what I deserve
That you couldn't love me right, couldn't you have just said that, instead of breaking your word

Maybe you didn't know that's what I needed
Maybe you assumed I wanted to commit this suicide
Maybe you thought I deserve the heartache and pain
Maybe you figured this is the only way I'd learn

Thanks for being the teacher of pain
Ill be sure not to displace any blame
It isn't your fault my heart was ready for love
It isn't your fault good people never win
It isn't your fault I refuse to fall victim

It's mine and this is what we'll do
Ill work on me and you work on you
And the next time my heartbreak calls
Ill use us as a reason why my heart has these walls

Poem 2-11

I love that your face is the first that I see

You help me

It is you that helps me

Me that needs you to tame Mohagony

Broken pieces of a heart

Held palm up on dissappointed days

You string them together one by one

Tie them in a bow around my finger for luck and blow with me to wish them away

If I were you Id want to be my friend to

Its gets better on the other side of forever

When what I we say today somehow is true

If I were you Id want to be my friend to

Glad, grateful, thankful I had enough good sense to choose you! 

12-14 Poem

Maybe if you saw my tears
You'd love away the pain
Maybe if you heard my fears
You'd stop this thats causing them

Patch up your foolish heart, swallow your hurt
No need to cry now, you dissappointment, I sware, stop
Pick up your heart out the dirt
No one really cares cuz from their view you're at the top

Ha! He said he always be there
Like a fool you listened
Look at you now, hold tight to this strangers' hand
Be comforted by his lies cuz you aint shit to him,
Say your lies and goodbyes
Save your good sins to let live
Oh he loves you now, he's sorry, he misses you
And what you do but forgive