5-2-2013

We met May 17th Playful in smiles Mahogany made him kiss her hand Three days later Were kissing all over I am her to him and he a beginning and ending Blown away by such conviction Lord why. How? Could a stranger love me Show me now He wont let me Do what I know He wants me not my body Poetically so Over Over and Over Again Lost and seduced in lusty scenes A million heartbreaks later taught me everything if nothing at all I have no right to what I ask I have not earned for what I pray I need a love like him and Him Forevermore to stay ...

Poem 9-21

Me time
Just me and my thoughts today
Ridding myself of anxiousness
Peace be with me

Stillness and calm
An agenda of none
Nestled in the rocks
Unsure of why he's not the one

The cool breeze having its way.
Making me positive for sanity's sake
As I stopped myself from being my same ol me
Fed up with being best friends with happiness's heartache

i decided it was time that i road about town
to discover its soul, clear my mind
to free my heart, and find my home
stopped here to question whether if what Im searching for I would ever find

tormented by loneliness, a want inside of me
for so long Ive been incapable to share
a silence within, too loud
for anyone but me to hear

I met my new friend right then on this Saturday afternoon
he was tough and mysterious
and had deep brown skin
he saw life in my eyes and without touching me was kind
he made me feel beautiful as he manipulated the breeze to play in my hair
his peacefulness flowed through me
his gentleness replaced friends that had left me behind

he listened to my fears
as I sat as his feet
he comforted me with new dreams
as we shared our defeats

I admired how every branch, every being
exploited  his goodness
but his strength and character
was bothered not by their rudeness

not seeking a hello or a goodbye
or a mention of his name
I fell in love with him b/c he promised me he'd be there when I needed him again
Thank you James

Poem 9-17

I needed you to fix me
I needed you to take away the pain
I need you to make me feel safe
I know, I'm insane

I needed you to fight for us
To make me a necessity
A love, a friend I needed you to need me
Wishes fivoriously

All I know is what I know
Its time to learn something new
Its time to become the woman
I know I am

I have been broken, I have been hurt
I am finding my way
Some days I am sad and scared
 And unsure for what to pray

 The idea of an us in ever sense of the word
 My happiness and happily ever after I've ever known
I've sold myself on a brighter days
But it wasn't supposed to be this way

I believe in you even if you cant see what I see
Faith is love
Us come into my life
Be true

7-6 Poem

If we met anywhere on the map
In the midst of the world
We'd find a way, for a moment...entrapped
In love, in laughs, boy and girl

You'd be my Lucky fella on the boardwalk of life's lane
Your Carnation to wear
Nestled near your heart again

Dearest Mandel you made my life poetic
Where bad was good and there is a realism to be great
I who you found inside of me
Fearlessness from depths of intellect and creativity
I am everything you chose to see
A remanence beyond Brazil's beauty
I am woman to your flame
I am inspiration
I am

...you are missed



You and the idea of you
Though distance in time and space
Will never be forgot
Will never be replaced

In love, in laughs
Of mutual heart and mind
We were the rarest of things
2 of a kind

Seconds to minutes, and minutes beyond
So fond a thing is love
Especially when its gone

but without a doubt
words from the lips you kissed
I'd be remiss if I said you weren't missed

~Ocean

08/17/2013

It's a good kind of hurt
Like strength training for the heart
The only way to know is to know
The only way to love is to love

We were a low key love, in my world atleast
Thanks for saving me the shame
Thanks for saving me the pain
I wish I believed you when you told me the truth about dating a guy like you
You told me you were bad, but you made our friendship seem so true
So lets pretend you were a friend and told me to go find what I deserve
That you couldn't love me right, couldn't you have just said that, instead of breaking your word

Maybe you didn't know that's what I needed
Maybe you assumed I wanted to commit this suicide
Maybe you thought I deserve the heartache and pain
Maybe you figured this is the only way I'd learn

Thanks for being the teacher of pain
Ill be sure not to displace any blame
It isn't your fault my heart was ready for love
It isn't your fault good people never win
It isn't your fault I refuse to fall victim

It's mine and this is what we'll do
Ill work on me and you work on you
And the next time my heartbreak calls
Ill use us as a reason why my heart has these walls

Poem 2-11

I love that your face is the first that I see

You help me

It is you that helps me

Me that needs you to tame Mohagony

Broken pieces of a heart

Held palm up on dissappointed days

You string them together one by one

Tie them in a bow around my finger for luck and blow with me to wish them away

If I were you Id want to be my friend to

Its gets better on the other side of forever

When what I we say today somehow is true

If I were you Id want to be my friend to

Glad, grateful, thankful I had enough good sense to choose you! 

12-14 Poem

Maybe if you saw my tears
You'd love away the pain
Maybe if you heard my fears
You'd stop this thats causing them

Patch up your foolish heart, swallow your hurt
No need to cry now, you dissappointment, I sware, stop
Pick up your heart out the dirt
No one really cares cuz from their view you're at the top

Ha! He said he always be there
Like a fool you listened
Look at you now, hold tight to this strangers' hand
Be comforted by his lies cuz you aint shit to him,
Say your lies and goodbyes
Save your good sins to let live
Oh he loves you now, he's sorry, he misses you
And what you do but forgive

11-11-12 Poem

Lobby thoughts
Of far away days
The past, the future
but right now, I claim this a good day

4am I awoke
Inspired to pray, Lord
Help me to never loose my way
Help me to never forget this day

In this moment, a want for nothing
Laso'd time, giftwrapped in gold...capturing
These beautiful thoughts,
Blessed to pay
Every low, made today a good day

Nasira braided my hair
Her sweetness brushed away my fears 
We laughed, we smiled,
Features of familia-rity

My day to dance with daddy,
My Aiva my everything
Sentiments to Ohio, a trip that brought me home
To spread hope, to families from my own

I dedicate this day, for now and always
To my babies saddened by the world
Know that all you are and we will ever be
Is my life's everything

10-30-12 Poem

Success attracts two things
Love
And the pains such love brings

To be admired,
desired
but too fraid to be aquired

My life....now

To be the woman I am
virtuous
but assumed to be
everything else

Sad...for a little while

10-14-12 Poem

My sister,
Who's lived 31 years
On my birthday
My wish is for God to claim your tears
I couldnt find a card to say
You're stuck with me forEver...okay
I get why you've been mad since '86
Since packing my school lunch, and pick up sticks
Since chocolate M & M cakes and jelly slides
Since getting big sister blamed for when I cried
Since wetting your bed, when I was too scared to sleep alone for nighty night
Since kicks in the face and salt and pepper fights
I hope on your birthday you didnt wish me away
You're the bestest big sister, well for the torture that's the least I can say!

Thanks for everything, love you.

10/3 Poem

I dated a Frank Sinatra once

And ohh was he a fine fella

He wore a cologne of love

And when we danced I became Cinderella

Smile today love I miss you, I love you. You are in my thoughts always.

With love,

India

9/10 Poem #2

Have you not learned
Love they
haven't earned
Ponder on
the wait of its worth

Stop
the dates
Stop
The cares

Unlucky libra
your luck's gonna change
Stop, chasing pavements
that lead no where

Youre stronger
be wronger
Certain
Love will set you free!

9/10 Poem #1

Bad night
A new day
surrender this
in tears I pay
rule breaker
gone astray
Delibrate disobedience
to take me away

Another
Just like before
Trusting a fools heart
that beats for the dismay

9/10 Poem

I learned the hard way that they all say

Things you wanna hear

My heavy heart sinks deep down under

You and your twisted words

Your help just hurts

You are not what I thought you were

Hello to high and dry

Convinced me to please you

Made me think that I need this too

I'm trying to let you hear me as I am

You grabbed my face

Through emotions all over the place

Made me out to be

Unable to breathe easy

And now you have the nerve to play along
You got your kicks, you get your kicks from playing me
And the less you gave the more I wanted so foolishly

But I will never be your stepping stone
Taking back my heart and leaving you alone
I will never be your stepping stone
Looks like ill just keep on stepping on my own

9/6 Poem

I wrote a letter
to my 9 year old self
Be brave in love
The hurts, help

She wrote me instructions
for life, in her diary
Love God, family and others
Unconditionally

Pages of prayers 
such innocence
Pleads to God
for loved ones repents

Her life's gonna be unfair
Got dammit the blame
Dads drugs, Mom's Sex, loves lost,
Loneliness comforted by pain

If my 9 year old self
asked me why's her life gonna be so hard
I'd say fear not, the bad days of others
make yours a walk in the park

8/20 Poem

Jaded moons
No sad songs left to sing
Life's been a
Happening

Three twenty five
Morning work
Missing love
Alone for what its worth

I chased a fellow
But the light turned red
Desperate to visit lost hope
With the dreams in my head

7/11

Seven eleven love
Always open for chance
Im thinking forever's
Long-term romance

Face to face with fear
Such bold smiles
Should prayers be answered
Lord grant me a husband, a child

Damn I'm awesome to of overcame
The rights the wrongs and made peace with the pain
Optimism, faith and a heart determined
To live, to love, to like Shane

Toni stole my birthday
Lucky Libras lost in emotions
Happy to say
Bingo, one zero one five wins



Dinner, movies, love in the making 
Warm hands that calm the doubts within
Its too soon, there's rules, slow down...thinking
yolo, throw caution to the wind

Grit, give my all, let him in
No more once upon a times, no more sad ends
I need that real love,  cancel those pretends

Ill smile when its good
I'll cry when its great,
Ill work to make it work
Ill try my best to relate

I only have one chance to give
One tear and I'm out
I'm grown enough to know
The BS isnt what Im bout

Master class; wise from the be-fore's
Pursuit, as many times as it takes
Til I find what I need
What's one more heart break

 

Need to want your love
To improve my life
Need to want your love
Make me your wife

Need to want your love
Need me to have it
Need to want your love
Make loving me your bad habit

Need to want your love
Want to need me around
Need to want your love
Keep away the frowns

Need to want your love
Think of me in your prayers
Need to want your love
Need to want my love near

2-11 Poem

Eyes lowered
This wont work
The needs neverd
It was worth a try
Ignored ignorance
Intoxicicants cockeyed
Ah well
Disrespect
Ill let it go
Ill let it go
Hmmm

2-25 Poem

Inboxx

India Parson
Feb 26
to me

Member when
You  talked all night
Made these memories
That haunt me tonight

Member when
You swore youd succeed
You dreamt up these dreams
That bears seasoned agony

Member when
Your love was clearer
Now Sitting distant from love
Cuz Distant loves wished nearer

If it took you death
Youd be proud
Youd say fear not lonliness
Just Fear quittin

When your destined for greatness
And pushing for change
And friends you once had
cause the most pain

Youd say to her
Sweet  soul come on in
Its not for anyone but me
To remember when

2-17 Poem

Scriptures of Proverbs
A novice tale
Illiteratature
Eardrummed brail
Blighted conquest
Better ye drifted near
Twas beautiful Oceans
Fallice streamed bitter beer
Suffocated sound
Hear A eye R
Blind my lips
Ajar
I lend thee thy heart
Assume it quere
Do with it what you will
I dont care