12-30 Poem

Who was I
Teenage orphans know
Saddness burried far beneath
Smiles that deceive sorrow

Barders made by birthright
Bear life, ignorant but blamed
Children and babies carryon sins
From kinship who share lastname

Brokenhearted charms
Hung by faith and security
Encrusted by betrayal
Round this lastborn's misery

Hurried to be done
Dispelled to Wed me away
Disobedience, an unruly child
Eyes for truth see how well we the bad obey

A love then so fragile gone
Ignited inflamed to ash
Hushed secrets wanting to be told
Pained most seemed no on cared to ask

Loved him first and most of all
With leftover love to be had
It was all a lie as it be told
One big fable I only'd wish this deceitful heart ever said

Such opposition of what shouldve been
Left me a mess that Fall day
Wouldve been easier just to die
Than have it be him too who wished me away

Riddled hearts survive
Hope babtised twice over in tears
A fight I made my own
Riddled hearts grow acute fears

To fraid to surpress and forget
Of wealth which lives in every detail
Or keep so close the bouts
There'd be no child to tell

To weigh whether lost or gained
O judge right or wrong o'er tragedy
Life wills whether we do or dont
We choose our own debauchery

12/22

Winter first
Winter fast
When hurts
Make winners last

Season's change
A fickle heart
Not quick to Fall
Love became art

Tears
Flooded my Spring
Winter wont have joy
Without sacrifcing

12/21 Poem

That's too bad for us
I'm sure of it for me
He became thy lost love
I needed subconciously

Squandered forgiveness
Led this fool's fragile heart astray
Stubborn thy mind to concieve
Potential felicity reason to stay

An intentional diversion
Although relunctant I learned
Hurt begets hurt
Lest redemption be earned

As the story be told
I met a stranger whom I loved
Pedastled in admiration
Priced his needs, mine above

I defied gravity to hover
Paralytically on borrowed time
In fear any upset would confirm
Thy hopes of us were just mine

Settled to recoarse as friends
I knew him to fail any change
He who abandons once
If allowed to, will again and again

A fool for love
Is what I made me
Blind eyes found refuge
To prevalent treachery

Cloaked by pain I deserve
Strength now but none then to leave
Him a mere tyrannical mortal
Athena he not better to beseige

Only if he knew
The lesson he burdened himself to teach
If and when learned, robbed him
Of the love so reverently beseeched

If I knew of him at all
He wanted to care, even lovingly
Let the stars be cursed
Vexed now to thy memory

Hear me confess
That be but my one regret
Thy fallacies t'with love
Novices, fail sure by his suspect

Bless'd to have known
Someone with what made him me
Alone dispelled from loneliness
Newfound conviction with security

11/29/2011 POem Prt. 2

I took three shots for love
Got trigger happy and missed
Killed would've and should've
Next time could've ceases to exsist

11/29 Poem

Angry but not defeated
Not with you but me
I den got sick'n tired
Of my same ol idiocracy

Im good on a bad day
Weak on a good night
Wise enough to wise'n up
A sinner's plight
I win even when I loose
Beat at my best
Failure keeps me strong
A conquerer's contest

Dramatic days in dramatic fashion
Background music of mozart
Oscar De LaRenta's life collection
Worth every penny paid broken heart

Damn...

11/24/2011

If you ever find yourself
Looking for me
I've drifted far east
Home

If you ever find yourself
Looking for me
Ive conquered myself
Shalom

If you ever find yourself
Looking for me
I've found my answers
Alone

If you ever find yourself
Looking for me
I've embraced meagerness
Dethroned

If you ever find yourself
Looking for me
I've lived my life
Bygone

11-3 Poem

A dried rose moment
Preserved in life's time
Be a scented ornament
Hung in thy mind

A lesson taught
To an unwise woman
Death be thy fate
Never here will I be again

Fragranced moments
Blessed be the blind
Satisfied to have
A laugh, a cry and cold wine

10-31 Poem

Tears for Fall 

Feared ol ratchet placing

Flow South, Brazil's Bay

Swam love to vodka's chasing

Merry minds begged

To wade t'was doomed bliss

Love bargained low

Merchants, slaves to selfishness 

Rythyms in synce by dawn 
Bathed in seas of lust

Lost blight to heavy current

Held captive again at dusk

 A forever'd night

Worth waves of frivolities

What be a tear, but a ripple

In life's ocean of infinities

10-29 Poem

I not of this world

Yet dying here I must remain

A Lonely yet victorious soul

Dying to come home again

Faint in the distance

Heavens harps pacify

Days drifted nearer

Pride endures to testify

Comforts come

At surrender's shore

Selfish humbling prayers

Builds faith from faith restored

Solicited happiness here

Naivety fights the seasons

Self-inflicted pain

Unloyal to truth, a broken heart’s treason

I’m not know Scholar

Or master of many things

Just a meager being
Outcasted by moral striving

I’d choose an easier way

Simple joys just to waste time

I envy ignorance, even stupidity

Bless'd mercy to be freed from thy own mind

I not of this world

Save the world, not me

I do well to hide my sorrows

Only if it wouldnt inspire thy poetry

10-27 Poem

I wake

To greet his Son

A costume plucked

My day begun

Naked in pretend

Adolescent innocence

Then, lightly clothed

By my dubious repentance

Performances inspired by

My mind’s scrapbook memories

Hot Hell’s happiness

Stained by short-lived blasphemes

 I never present, in moments made

Though an actress, makes it seem

Superseded by unknowns to behold

At mercy to he who writes the scenes

I hide not one, flawed true be

A stumble into life’s stages

Smart, yet too fool a memory

My parables recorded on life’s pages

Poised, short finger north,

Etiquettes for Queen’s tea

Perception won, for injured minds

My Imperfections impress His Majesty

Now, a misty sky

Purples over pinks and blue

Painted faces and facades far-gone

My blessings, in bird’s eye view

Nudity returned for

He whom always see’s

Sleep delighted, I with peace

True to self’s own transparencies

10/27/11

10-24 Poem

We do this dance

Of sorrows said

Well sorrows said

No more

I dare not do

This dance today

I Life’s acquisitor

You reach out for me

For comforts said

Here none you shall find

Let me be, leave me now

Thy sorrows

My no

Never mind

I cannot fix,

What wills to be broke

Nor this burden

I chose to bear

Thy choices are

Thy own to make

I waste not

Another prayer

What comes of it

A reality

Won’t make this one

Any worse

A woman alone

Enlightened now

Shadow to a curse

I dance no more

The “Devils Duel”

He has his hold on you

Free will

The promised

A sacred fight

Souls lost, I bid adieu   

10/24/11